we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
