Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
