This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
