the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love having hate sex.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
