His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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