Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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