well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
