Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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