Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
