My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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