Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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