Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
either way he was missing a nipple.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
