i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
