I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
