No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
