woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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