Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
