i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
