Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
