Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
