Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
