Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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