he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
