shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
