How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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