What a fucking waste of an outfit
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
