It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
