Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i now understand why vodka
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