I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
