What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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