Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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