You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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