I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
