I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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