I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
