I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
