Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
