she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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