On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
your room smells of hookers.
And success
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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