I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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