K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
