are you so shy because you have an std?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
