i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
