I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
