What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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