Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
