oh god the rape fog is back!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
