guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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