im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
