he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
