just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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