Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
